Okay so here goes on Wednesday October 14th I lost my mucus plug at 9:30am. I was really glad because I lost mine with Brielle in the hospital so I felt like labor would start soon, although I knew it could still take days. I spent the day doing final last minute things preparing for the big day and cuddling with Brielle, knowing soon our one on one time would be gone and just enjoying the moment. I had contractions every 10 to 15 minutes but I had been doing that since Monday and knew it was just my body prepping for the real deal. The day went on and I napped with Brielle and woke up with stronger contractions. I was so happy but knew they still weren't strong enough.
Brennan had 2 softball games the evening so I decided I would go and run around with Brielle in hopes to onset labor. And I defiantly ran around like crazy. At one point Brielle ran onto the field and I could barely keep up with her. She kept me so busy and I was sure I would go into labor in the field but as the night continued all the contractions that I had been having throughout the day totally stopped halfway through his games and I was so overly bummed! We left the fields and went home around 8:30pm we made dinner and all got ready for bed. I laid Brielle down and went to relax myself and at about 10:30pm I realized there was no way I could sleep! The contractions were coming on strong. I decided to get in the bath in hopes that would help me relax more. I was exhausted and really wanted to sleep but knew that would be impossible so I figured I needed to relax as much as possible since I had a long process ahead of me. After sitting in the tub, walking around, watching tv (Jane the virgin of course) trying to get comfortable on the couch my contractions just kept getting stronger. By 4am I felt like we needed to head to the hospital especially when I broke down and started crying. I knew it was defiantly time. I woke Brennan up and called my mom to come over to be with Brielle. We grab our stuff and headed out the door once my mom was there. I got in the car and realized I was missing my favorite pillow so I went back inside and our silly dog, Lakota ran away so Brennan had to spend the next 15 minutes or so trying to get her back inside. All the while I was standing by the car in hard labor. He finally got her back inside and we were off to the hospital.
I cannot tell you the fear that came over me driving to the hospital. It was the same hospital I had Brielle and her experience was so traumatic for me I couldn't even help but only feel scared and terrified. I told Brennan a million times maybe we should just turn around and go home. I really didn't want to have to walk into that place and experience what I had the first time. On top of that in the car my contractions totally stalled because of the fear I was having. Once we hit the parking lot at about 5:15am Brennan parked far away so we could have a little walk to the hospital to calm down my nerves and hopefully the contractions would start up again and luckily they did. I prayed so hard the I would be at a 7 at the very least because I didn't want to have to labor very long at the hospital and I also didn't want to have to turn around and go home since we just drove the 20 minutes there. We checked in and the place was a ghost town which made it better for me. I felt calmer since it wasn't busy. They wheeled me up to triage where I changed and was monitored for a few minutes. When the nurse told me she was going to check me I was so nervous that I wasn't going to be very far along since I could still talk and felt somewhat "good" Considering being in labor. She told me I was at a 7, 100% effaced and she was even shocked because I seemed to be handling the pain so well. She told me I would be admitted and they would get me a room with a tub. I was literally so over joyed that I was already at a 7. I felt like my baby was going to be in my arms so soon.
At about 6am I was in my room enjoying the warm heavenly water. The tub in my room was huge and seriously the best thing ever for labor! I wish I could take that tub home with me! I sat in the tub for an hour or so, maybe longer I have no clue really but felt like I needed a break and wanted to sit on the birthing ball. After doing that I felt exhausted and wanted to try to get some rest if I could so my nurse and Brennan helped me into bed and rubbed my back and legs trying to get me comfortable and rested. On a side note my nurse Frances was the best nurse I ever could have asked for and also the nurse show delivered Brielle and between her and my husband there was no way I would have ever been able to survive all this! It was about 9am and I wanted to see if I had progressed at all since I stalled for so long with Brielle (I was stuck at a 7 for hours and pushed for over 8 hours with Brielle and I was not about to do that again) it was very important for me to know my body was working with me to progress. My midwife checked me and I was still at a 7 my heart broke. It had been 4 hard hours and I was still only at a 7. She told us we needed to go walk around and do things that would work with gravity to bring Haizley down. So that is what we did we walked around the halls for about 15 or 20 minutes and then I felt like I couldn't handle it anymore and just wanted to go back to the tub. I was so discouraged and scared that my body wasn't going to progress, I told my nurse I just wanted the epidural so I could rest and relax because I was convinced my body wouldn't progress without one, and I would be stuck at a 7 forever like I did with Brielle. Unfortunately my midwife was in a c-section and so was the anistialogist and they would be there for an hour or so. I had no choice but to suck it up until they were done. I sat in the tub just waiting thinking I could get through the next hour and then I would have relief from the epidural and it would all be fine! The contractions were painful but they slowed down in the tub which I was grateful for since I wanted the epidural anyways. I was so done with all the contractions and frustrated with my body for not progressing like I thought it should. I remember just giving up and really thinking an epidural was best! For some reason the tub was no longer comfortable and so at about 10:30/10:45am I had to get out. I went to the bathroom and was just so exhausted and wanted to be done. I told my nurse I wanted to lay down but laying down was going to be way to uncomfortable so I sat on the birthing ball right next to the bed and laid my head down on a pillow I had 3 contractions on the birthing ball that felt so incredibly forceful and different and I couldn't control these ones. I felt the intense need to push! I was so confused because I never felt my body shift or change so drastically like I thought I would going from a 7 to feeling the urge to push. They helped me onto the bed so my nurse could check me. As she was trying to get ready to check me I could feel Haizley's head and I had no choice but to push. I was still trying so hard not to because I was scared that I wasn't really ready since I pushed to soon with Brielle. I didn't want to push to early this time whatsoever! But it was nearly impossible not to push. My midwife was running into the room and thankfully she did. Because the next contraction my water broke and I was forced to push. They had to coax me to get into a better position so my hips could open up and honestly this was the worst part for me, trying to move and get into a comfortable pushing position was so incredibly hard. I'm not positive a comfortable pushing position even exists. This was the worst pain I had ever felt and I kept saying I couldn't do it even though her head was literally right there. I felt like my body was just exploding open. Once they got me in a better position where I was holding on to the top of the bed I pushed once and her head came out I pushed again and her body came out all in about 2 minutes at 11:10am. They slid her up in front of me and told me to hold her, I was in complete shock! It all happened so fast. Minutes before that I honestly thought I was going to be getting an epidural. I am soo thankful that I didn't! And that my body knew what to do and did it even when I gave up. Haizley was an angel baby and truly, over all made my labor fast and enjoyable! It was such a different experience this time around and the birthing part went better than I could have ever imagined. I could defiantly birth again without fear and I loved not having the epidural and felt I made the right choice and was so thankful I ended up not getting one. Haizley Pearl was 6lbs 15oz 18 and 3/4inches and perfect in every single way!
Unfortunately the after birth part went a little more rocky. I was lucky I didn't really tear at all and only required 2 stitches that were just on the surface. And I thought it would hurt so badly without the epidural and I decided not to get numb since the shot would be an extra poke seeing I only need two stitches. But it was honestly no big deal. As they were stitching me up they noticed I was hemorrhaging which was really scary! Within minutes they had shots in my leg and medicine in me trying to stop the bleeding. After an hour or two my nurse realized I was still loosing way to much blood. My midwife came back in and literally had to stick her hand up me to get all the blood clots that were stuck in my cervix causing my uterus not to firm up to stop the bleeding. I thought I was going to die I screamed so loudly it was so much worse then the baby I had just pushed out! Tons of blood clots came out which they were hopeful would stop the bleeding but that still didn't do the trick. I had another shot in my leg and they gave me more medication. Then they decided I need pitocin and a catheter. They had the IV and catheter going so quickly. The pitocin was so painful it was like I was in labor all over again with heavy contractions. Only it sucked because I wasn't getting a baby out of this pain. Add to it every few minutes I felt like they were punching my stomach trying to get my uterus to firm up I felt like I was a rag doll! The birth had nothing on this. They estimated that I had lost about 1300ml of blood which is considered a postpartum hemorrhage. I was on the pitocin for the rest of the day and evening and having the catheter was hard because I was just confined to my bed. Which I was so excited for not having an epidural so I could feely move afterwards and I was hoping an unmediated birth would help me recover faster. They did some blood work and with how I was feeling decided that it would be best if I had a blood transfusion. So the fallowing afternoon I was given blood. I was originally hoping to already be home at that point but there was no way I would have been able to feel good enough without the blood transfusion. The blood going into my veins hurt so badly and it burst all of my blood vessels in my wrist and arm where the IV was. It took a little over 3 hours and they were a long 3 hours with how painful the blood hurt going in. Once it was all over though I felt so restored and alive! Even though it only replace 300ml of blood that I had lost it still made all of the difference. They told me if I didn't recieve the blood it could take up to 6 months to recover. I still have a long road of recovery but the blood should speed it up. The fallowing day we were able to go home and be with our sweet little Brielle and I am so thankful for my family who was so helpful and awesome through this all, modern medicine, my husband and my two sweet little girls!! I would do it all over again in a heart beat for my little Haizley Pearl!
Im adding some note a couple days after I wrote this. My recovery even with all the incredible amount of blood I loss has been much better than when I had Brielle and I fully believe this is because I didn't have an epideral this time around. I'm weird and feeling very sad that my pregnacy is over that her birthing day is over and I wish so badly I could go back and redo it all again (or at least the birthing part not so much the after birth) because it was so magical, amazing and spiritual for me and I have never felt so much power and strength then when I was laboring and birthing my baby! I still can't believe I spent the last 9 months preparing for this little beauty and she is finally here! It all went by so quickly. I no longer fear birth and can say that in the long distant future I can see myself doing an unmedicated birth again!
